Monday 24th of February 2020

Uncle Dick saves the world once again

Uncle Dick saves the world once again

Strange fruit

New forensic techniques (Forensic medicine cuts out the scalpel) have enabled the identification of one of the corpses floating in what's left of New Orleans (Macabre Reminder: The Corpse on Union Street). It's Dick Cheney. His minders knew he had been dead for a long time, and he wasn't lost, just misplaced. In fulfillment of his contract, the mummy is required to undertake normal vice-supervisory activities. Often this entails the assessment of future reconstruction opportunities, after fire, flood, storm or war (Waters Recede Across New Orleans; Cheney Tours Gulf Region). The mode of transport to these goldmines is by military chopper, and the crew always find it more convenient to strap a chunk of rotting flesh to the undercarriage of their vehicle. But a knot slipped over Union Street, and Dick went in for a closer look.

The forensic lab drilled back into history, and made a startling discovery. Dick's DNA is identical to that of Nosferatu and Ramesses. It's not surprising that Dick is a bloodsucking slavedriver, and that he is so popular on the Coalition backbench. They've propped Uncle Dick on the advisory panel for enabling the new security laws. In response to feeble criticism from the Left, that it's unAustralian, Dick utters "You want unAustralian? I've got a battalion of Abu Ghraib contractors, all of them fluent in a range of East European languages. They are really good at stopping and searching, and we can arrange a bit of rendition for the questioning. No problems."

From  The Demise of Compassionate Conservatism

As a governing philosophy, however, it was a disaster—too much faith, not enough works. Bill Clinton had it pegged back in 1999, when he said:

This compassionate conservatism has a great ring to it, you know. It sounds sooo good. And near as I can tell, here's what it means: It means, "I like you. I do. And I would like to be for the patients' bill of rights, and I'd like to be for closing the gun show loophole, and I'd like not to squander the surplus and, you know, save Social Security and Medicare for the next generation. I'd like to raise the minimum wage. I'd like to do these things. But I just can't. And I feel terrible about it."


Bush Pledges to Expedite Aid to Gulf Region; Day of Prayer Is Set

This will be a blanket,  because they won't have recovered, let alone identified, all the dead. "Let us remember all those poor, black, dead folks." ... "OK, start up the bulldozers."

on message .....

Vice President Dick Cheney, in Gulfport, Mississippi on a tour of the Katrina hurricane zone, was told to "go f**k yourself, Mr. Cheney" twice on live television


Public Opinion

Helping out

What was that? Oh, yeah - " first time I've heard it". 

The lying lips framed the weasel words "We need to pull together and help each other", but he meant "I'll pull some strings so I can help my pals" 

the usual suspects .....

‘Look who's getting off easy in 'rebuilding' the Big Easy: the same companies that have been getting fat off rebuilding Iraq. 

The usual suspects: Bechtel, Fluor, Halliburton.   


It's all in the family, really. Halliburton's Kellogg, Brown & Root and another company tapped to rebuild N.O., Shaw & Co., are both clients of former FEMA head, and Bush fundraiser, Joe Allbaugh. You might recall, Allbaugh was the guy who got the current FEMA director, Mike Brown, the job. They were roomies in college. Old School, you know. These chums are now first in line to tap the first $100 billion in rebuilding funds.’


Winners & Losers