Wednesday 17th of April 2024

Richard Tonkin's blog

Monkeying With Lunar Magic

What a bloody mess we're weaving
when the truth is all-deceiving
Dogs wag tails, tails wag dogs
Would-be could-be Hitler blogs
Maybe truth comes from within

Follow The Bouncing Ball

In this year of metoo hashtags, 
Harveys, Craigs and all
Times are hard to be a man
We haven't had a ball
A thousand years repression has

The Song of the Doctor

(Sung to tune of "Pinball Wizard")

Since I was a boy I've been a fan of Doctor Who
I'd cheer in in admiration at all the things he'd do
I'd hide behind the couch each time a Dalek came onscreen
But now something has happened that can't remain unseen

Chorus:) I used to want to be like him, when I had grown up

I'll be Tony's baby tonight

Why bother voting when the system's a con
When leaders are milked for charisma, then gone
replaced by a power hungry lackey who grins?
It's always the sneakiest bastard who wins,

(Sung to the Dylan song) 

Advance Straya

Some days it's a house of cards
Some days truth it disregards
Most days people stare in wonderment
watching this shambles of a Government
waiting for the Queen to

Is He an Aussie, is he, Lizzy?



Is he an Aussie, is he Lizzy, ex PM Lord Tony, hey?

He says he's no longer British, don't trust anthing he'd say
Hiis paperwork is inconclusive, truthfulness is still elusive
Tell us he's a Pommie, Lizzie, we'll ship the bugger  Home today

(with apologies to Mr Flotsam and Mr Jetsam)

Elizabeth's Birthday

It's not the Queen's Birthday
The date is a fake
as the Royals sit to dine on
Australia, the Cake!
The last of the Empire

The Ballad of Schapelle

Tell you a story bout a girl named Shapele, 
forced into a life of hell 
surfing on beaches in Bali all day, 
and shagging her boyfriend on Saturday.

Schapelle took a holiday
Packed her boogie-board away
and caught a plane to Dempasar
With 5 kilograms of marijuana

She thought that her sex appeal
would keep her booty out of jail 

It wasn't a bad idea for a plan
but in practice it was an epic fail

Clusters Of Munitions Companies

The next bit is reprinted from the Advertisers letters page of Halloween 2014: IF the future frigates are to be built in Adelaide, and the ship chosen is the Type 26 Combat Ship, a new era in naval co-operation could begin.

The UK Navy are building 13 of these ships, with BAE doing much of the design work and Raytheon developing the navigation and bridge systems.

The Circle Of Death

These words are written to the strong
Those who would be leader
because it's their right
You're wrong

Poseurs of power, bullies born
fighting the ethical conceder
taking sheer delight
seeing everything torn

Their karmic turn's at hand
A leadership conceiver
bending, shakes in fright
A new King rules the land


Finally the penny's dropped, my quest in human nature's stopped 
In recognition that I've found the latest paradyme
No Shit Sherlock you might say, happens always, every day
Lately I've been seeing it like it's just leapt out of time

The Sound of the Trump

One by one the Facebook friends fell
their green lights gone forever
as cities burned at the gates of hell
the smug, content and clever
saw the missiles fill their

Bingo, The Dingo Who Glows In The Dark (for Adelaide's No-Dump Rally This Saturday)

Way up in the Flinders, where they store the toxic waste
there roams a fearsome canine- two headed and two-faced
as the greedy politicians who run from his mutant bark
The locals call him Bingo, The Dingo Who Glows In The Dark

That's not the wind that's howling, that's Bingo in the Ranges
sniffing out the senators storing scary stuff for strangers
Wherever you might find a place for nuclear waste to park
that's where you'll find Bingo, the Dingo Who Glows In The Dark

Rocket's red glare

They thought I was bonkers when I dug this hole

and filled it with rooms as an ultimate goal

of an underground home they'd forgotten was there

unseen in the light of the rocket's red glare


As soon as the missiles start to fall

to the supermarket I'll make a quick call

for a fellow can only eat so much baked beans

Census- You can't Count On Me

(To the tune of the Bruno Mars Song)

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