Saturday 24th of February 2024

Richard Tonkin's blog

Soldiers Have No Joy

Dick Cheney was Vice President
of old US of A
He made men into soldiers
and he shot their joy away
He sent them to Afghanistan
to fight the war on terror
and on they went into Iraq
and made the war forever

Too-ri-ay, dance all day
dance for the folks at the Pentagon
Too-ri-ay, dance all day
Soldiers have no joy

Playing the Game of Thrones

I saw the scene as Canberra burned through the eyes of my avatar, and the radar centres in Adelade fall to drones of war,
And now I wait, in hidden hills, until somebody wins
Everybody's King wants to play the Game Of Thrones

There's terabytes of memory out lying in the dust,
In houses with smart fridges, smart cars now full of rust
The owners of the knowledge are lost and crumbled bones
Everybody's King wants to play the Game of Thrones

Two plus Two Equals Antarctic Armageddon?

Type 26 Global Combat ShipType 26 Global Combat Ship


Seeing as it's turned out, amid yesterday's shipbuilding announcements, that one of the three remaining contenders to construct the Future frigates in Adelaide is the one I wrote about in the Adelaide Advertiser's letters page (on Halloween) 18 months ago, I've thought to republish what was printed then.  Given that it's the one with its photo in this morning's Australian, you could guess it's chances are still high..

Put On The Lead

How do you doodle, I said to the poodle

and how do you whatsit the whosit?

Tony's turned turtle, which Malcom did hurtle

and Bill's about to lose it.


Malcolm's little babies love Shorten, Shorten,

ALP Caucus vote Shorten dead

Office Drone

A widescrreen closeup on the eyes
Light fades as my enemy dies
In victory dance I barrel-roll my Drone
In my Melbourne office-cell
Many souls I've sent to hell
and once or twice from the pub on my Smartphone

It's much more fun when blood is real
High definition, watch it congeal
Death press button held by you alone
High Score's almost in your grip
Never on the Leader Board slip
or they'll send you to do the job without the Drone.

They're Coming For Us, The Enemy

They're coming for us, the enemy

but they haven't done anything yet

Before they do, we'd better teach

a lesson they won't forget

Fly our Air Force over them

blow up all their stuff

They won't come to Australia

if they know we're tough


Hiroshima and Nagasaki


Two in a week!  I thought another curry lover would've coined vindaloorgasm, but can't comprehendwhy autohedonism doesn't Google ; another newie?

Liberty Lived under Government Gun

Larrikin lad from a life on the farm
always in trouble, but never did harm
Made a fine soldier when he answered the call
Ratbags can make the best of them all.
Somewhere in an unmarked grave
Sleep reward for being brave
If he woke, what would he say
about what's going on in Australia today?

Lest We Forget the lives that were lost
that the freedom we live in has come at a cost
that was paid for happiness, friendship and fun,
not liberty lived under Government Gun.

Froggy Finance

You can talk of trading currency, share markets and stuff
but here's way to know we're screwed that's adequate enough
Forty hours a week you go out working like a dog
and then the bastards go and shrink the size of of your Freddo Frog

Chocolate is spendable, as everybody knows
Whenever things are plentiful, interest in it grows
It's value's more important than the price of a mug of grog
and then the bastards go and shrink the size of your Freddo Frog

Oo Roo Mal

Oo roo Malcolm Fraser, the King Of Nareen

got the best stock prices Vic's ever seen

by lowering the fences in his stockyard

Wool over eyes, without pulling too hard


Oo roo Malcolm Fraser, Straya's Prime Minister

clambering to power by methods quite sinister

Threw out Whitlam and his social reform

Made back-stabbing Canberra's political norm


Oo Roo Malcolm Fraser, noted Humanitarian

My Turn Next

One day I'll be Leader, and on that day you'll learn
I've had enough of taking your guff, so now it is my turn
Fuck your thoughts and feelings, fuck your mortal soul
I'm the one that's telling you - I'm now in control

Every day I wake up with a psychic morning glory
Nothing's gunna happen till I start to write the story
and none of that can happen till my thinking in the shower
my daily meditation on the concept of Power

The Audient

Don't want to know about foreign wars
or miners plundering distant shores
Better off just to ignore
the world as it decays
Gotta get my kids to school
slave my guts out for fuck all
every day till nighttime's fall
until the darkness stays

Don't sing to me about anything sad
Give me a tune that will make me forget
Show me a place in your soul to hide
cos life is far from over yet

"I'm not prepared for B and D"

50 shades of grey .....

Point to this is that the 50 Shades thing was pretty much the only cinema choice for Valentine's Day.. who knows the repercussions?  (Sung to the tune of The Banks Of The Ohio)

I asked my love to take a walk, a little walk to where the movies play. 
so we could celebrate Valentines Day by watching Fifty Shades of Grey 
(Chorus) And only say that you'll be mine, and your arms I will entwine
I won't forget that Valentines Day when we watched Fifty Shades of Grey

Seeya later alley raita

I went down an alley, and I found a curry shop
I went down an alley, and I found a curry shop
And I heard somebody singing
and the song just wouldn't stop

Seeya later alley raita, after a wild crock of dahl
Seeya later alley raita, after a wild crock of dahl
Can't you see I'm constipated?
Don't you know you cramp my bowel?

Here We Go Again

Saw a social media post which posed something along the lines that those who are uninformed shouldn't be discussing what's happened today as such discussions were promoting the spread of racism. It's a well-meant train of thought, but I have a couple of disagreements in that

(a) The racism was always there- such events make it feel socially permissable for those folks to spout it, and I for one am happy to see them "out themselves"

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