Saturday 20th of July 2024

The Time Of Your Wife

As I roved out on a Monday Night
a-running from my wife
I tried to find a place to hide
and not get into strife
but Adelaide on Monday Night
has only bars with pokies
or, if you're really lucky
quiz nights and karaokes
And so, in desperation
that I would not go home
I found a likely dwelling
through open door did roam
To the family of five who watched TV
(They were streaming Neighbours)
I said "Please get me arrested-
I'm one of those Home Invaders"
And as the coppers hauled me
gladly to my cell
Rashly I gave thanks to God
for dodging wifely Hell
Next morning in the Courtroom
Her Honour says to me
"This was a desperate measure
for marital liberty
"I have a solution
with satisfying karma
Six months home detention
Enjoy the melodrama!"
That night, as I lay sleeping
in my bridal bed
Sweat did glisten on my brow
and unto God I said
Lord I gave you many thanks
for granting penal bliss
so why'd you have to go and play
an arsehole trick like this?
And God (to my surprise) replied
"Stuff-all I've had luck with
There's a Force of Nature
that even I can't fuck with
"Well might you be wishing
that you were never born
but Hell has not a fury
akin to woman's scorn"
If you want a chance
for help to do some good
the moral of this story is
don't mess with the Sisterhood