Sunday 16th of March 2025

a pound of shit: if I have a fault, it’s that I’m too honest....

Cripes. Yours [BORIS JOHNSON] truly is in a bit of bother. Or perhaps I should say a bit of Bozzer! You know how it is. You have a few glasses of wine too many at lunchtime and you wake up six months later to find your publisher is wondering how your book is coming along. So you start writing in a panic, only to remember that a few keys on the laptop don’t walk. Dammit, I meant work. Still, I’m sure everything will be OK in the end. As Sappho once said – I think it was her – nothing can beat a stream of unconsciousness.

Where shall I start? How about September 2019? I’m in New York and the phone rings at 5.30am. And I don’t mind telling you that I’m not at my best that early in the morning. It’s Party Marty on the line. Surely he wasn’t ringing just to let me know that the booze fridge at No 10 was nearly empty.

“You should switch on the TV,” he said. “Lady Hale is giving her verdict on the prorogation.”

Sod that, I thought. What does Spiderwoman know anyway? She’s only the head of the supreme court. No one understands the complexities of the law better than me. Just another whingey remainer trying to block me. I turned off the TV. I considered my position and concluded it was pretty good. Nothing was going to stop me not building those 40 imaginary hospitals.

So how had I become prime minister, you may ask? How did the Bozzmeister get the keys to No 10? Why do I keep repeating myself? The simple answer is that Theresa May was hopeless and I was the Tory party’s last hope. I mean, best hope. My time had come.

The first thing I did was appoint some of the most clueless people I could find to continue the Brexit negotiations. Frosty was the perfect man, someone so out of his depth that he would then rubbish the deal he had concluded with the EU. I then threw every intelligent MP out of the party and promoted Thérèse Coffey, the idiot’s idiot. Finally, I hid in a fridge and won an election against an opposition leader that not even Labour members could vote for.

Where am I? Ah. Time to waste 100 pages on my time as London mayor. As Dante, who was a great admirer of mine, once said: “Nel mezzo del cammin di something or other.” So how did I become to London what Edward Gibbon was to Rome? I had been minding my own business as the editor of the Spectator and the MP for Henley when I rode my bicycle past a diplodocus bus and came to believe I could transform this great city.

POW! BIFF! SOCKO! THUDEROO! I gave it to Red Ken. Here, my levelling up agenda was born. From now on, anyone with a spare £1.5m would be able to buy a two-bedroom flat in Battersea power station. Then there was the 2012 Olympics, in which I won the 10,000 metres and had my gold medal presented to me by the queen. Not to mention the glistening otters in the beach volleyball. Reminded me of Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Nose Ring.

“So are you going to mention your services to pole dancing?” asked Dilyn the dog“I’m sure we’d all like to hear about the talents of Jennifer Arcuri.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that. So what do you think of it so far? Another masterpiece from the Great Sperminator?”

“Er … well, it’s just as self-serving as I expected. After all, you don’t do introspection. And it’s riddled with errors. But what’s most unforgivable is that it’s really boring. Just the same old stories and excuses wheeled out yet again in leaden prose.”

Where was I? Ah yes, Europe. I had always been a Eurosceptic. Apart from the times I wasn’t, when I was London mayor. Back in the day – after a stint on the Times, from which I had been sacked for lying – I got a job on the Telegraph, where I just made stories up. So much easier than telling the truth. Over in Brussels, I came to realise the EU was a Freudian wish-fulfilment dream. If only I had the same insight into my own narcissism. But I’ve never been curious about my behaviour; the way I invariably let down all those close to me.

February 2016. I was choked. Blocked. Stuck. Unsure of which way to jump in the referendum. Some have said that I chose to back leave only because that was the best career move. But I can categorically say this is untrue. Never in my life have I taken the selfish path. My life has been one long pilgrimage of self-restraint and uxorious self-denial. The queen once told me that I was a role model for the country.

What convinced me that Britain would be best out of the EU was the economics. Who in their right mind would not want the UK to take a 4% hit in GDP? “Alea iacta est,” as Caesar said. There was no going back, even when that girly swot David Cameron had threatened to fuck me up. I have never forgiven Dave for becoming prime minister before me.

Some have observed that I appeared shocked when the country voted for the Bozztastic Brexit. All I can say is: you try giving a press conference when you’ve been drinking the night before and Michael Gove is off his face on ketamine and magic mushrooms. And why would anyone expect us to have a plan to implement Brexit? That had been Dave’s job and he had just flounced out. So now I was being asked to take responsibility for my own actions. How unfair was that?

This is getting even worse than I imagined,’ groaned Dilyn. ‘God knows what the editor will make of this.”

“There is no editor,” said the editor. “Otherwise there would be almost nothing left.”

So why, you might ask, did I not still run to be prime minister after the Gover had treached on me? After all, I would still have been the frontrunner. The simple answer is that I have never asked myself that question. Although I am certain I didn’t bottle it. That wouldn’t be like me at all.

It was no more than I deserved when Theresa May invited me to be foreign secretary. “Rest assured,” I told her. “Global Britain will be safe with me. I’m the man to keep Johnny Foreigner in his place. Just wait till you see the watermelon smiles on those flag-waving piccaninnies. Not to mention the women dressed up as letterboxes. As for Russia and China, I will be taking no prisoners.”

Talking of prisoners, let me just put the record straight on Nanzanin Zagjhari-Raticliffe. No one had done more than me to get her sentence increased. Who wouldn’t want to spend a few more years in an Iranian jail? The queen later told me I was the best foreign secretary of her illustrious reign. Sadly, I had to cut my tenure short. Having praised Theresa’s Chequers deal to the heights, I found myself having to resign two days later when I realised that David Davis had walked first.

We now find ourselves in December 2019. All was going smoothly, plans were well advanced to build a bridge to the US and the whole country was celebrating my great election victory.

Then, in January, came the coronavirus. Let me get one thing straight. My problem was not that I knew too little about zoonotic diseases, but that I knew too much. So I knew Covid was not going to be a major problem. Who cared if 2% of the population carked it? And yes, I had witnessed the scenes from Italy, but those Mediterranean types are always overexcitable. I couldn’t see the point of attending five Cobra meetings when I had to help Carrie with her arrangements for the baby shower at Chequers.

To cut a long story short, I was magnificent during Covid. Even down to being the first super-spreader, when I shook hands with a whole lot of infected people. No one could have done more than me, carrying on giving the country the leadership it needed even when I was in hospital. I was determined the Moloch would be contained.

Never before in this country’s history has so much been owed by so many to me, as Cicero once said. Time and again, I came to this country’s rescue. By awarding PPE contracts to Michelle Mone. By personally developing a vaccine. If we had remained in the EU, no one in the UK would have got a vaccination and the whole country would have died.

There were no lengths to which I would not go to keep my people safe. I even asked Bear Grylls, Russell Brand and Ant Middleton to launch an attack on the Netherlands to steal a large supply of the vaccine that they didn’t have because they were in the EU. Slip unnoticed into Rotterdam harbour and then explode a nuclear device. The queen positively purred when I explained the plan to her. What could possibly go wrong with attacking a Nato ally, she said. Quite right, I said. The Dutch are practically Germans, so are not to be trusted.

I seem to have forgotten some other bits. Like how I keep being let down by people I have appointed while never once doubting my judgment. Take Dominic Cummings. When he explained how he had immediately gathered together his family after testing positive for Covid so that they could drive 250 miles to Durham, then took his family out for another drive to test his eyesight, it all made complete sense.

Amid all this, there were a few personal high points. Like my wedding to Carrie. The happiest day of my life. Largely because someone else was paying. Every prime minister needs a sucker like the Bamfords who will fork out cash on demand. I liked to call them my personal ATM.

Now to the parties. The parties that absolutely did not happen.

“You mean the Abba party,” growled Dilyn. “The one on the night you fired Dom. I didn’t get a wink.”

“Shut up,” I said. “Or you’ll be back to the dog rescue.”

As I was saying, none of the parties ever took place. All the rules were obeyed at all times, because that’s the kind of guy I am. My only regret is apologising in the first place. I should have just kept on lying about them and trying to brazen it out. But that’s me all over. If I have a fault, it’s that I’m too honest.

 

Anyway, you know how it is. One thing led to another: the parties, the Owen Paterson and Chris Pincher scandals. Soon, 60 ministers were resigning in protest. Caesar had fewer wounds than me. “Don’t worry,” said Charlotte Owen, an office junior in No 10. “I’m sure you will come through this crisis.” Give that woman a peerage. I did try writing to all the Tory MPs – “Dear Grunts” – whom I had never bothered to speak to in the previous three years, but they too were ungrateful for all I had done.

So that was it. I was out of office. Them’s the breaks. Still, at least I could now cash in on the speaker circuit and write a deeply reflective memoir.

“I’m still waiting,” said the publisher.

On which note, I leave you with the queen’s parting words to me. “My first prime minister was Winston Churchill. My last were you and Liz Truss. Just imagine. I think I might as well die now.”

Digested read, digested: Unreliable. Unhinged. Unreadable.

 Depraved New World by John Crace is out now (Guardian Faber, £16.99). To support the Guardian and Observer, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/oct/07/boris-johnson-unleashed-memoir-digested-read-john-crace

 

 

mad boris....

BOOK COVER AT TOP BY GUS LEONISKY....

 

 

BORIS beans. CARTOON BY GUS LEONISKY. Political cartoonist since 1951.

 

COVER OF DER SPIEGEL magazine....

 

The queen told me I was the best foreign secretary of her illustrious reign.’ Illustration: Ella Baron/The Guardian

 

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YOURDEMOCRACY.NET RECORDS HISTORY AS IT SHOULD BE — NOT AS THE WESTERN MEDIA WRONGLY REPORTS IT.

 

"he did not do it"....

Former UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson says he was “amazed” to hear allegations that he played a pivotal role in the breakdown of peace talks between Ukraine and Russia, according to his new memoir.

In a chapter of his lengthy work titled “Unleashed” – which has been described by several Western media outlets as “sour,” “unbelievable” and the “memoirs of a clown” – Johnson recalls the moment he learned that some blame him for the ongoing bloodshed.

According to Johnson, while dining at a restaurant in Greece after his resignation, he noticed a German family at the next table, and that a woman seated there seemed to be “eyeing me grimly.” Later, he continued, the woman came up to the former prime minister and handed him a note saying: “Mr. Johnson, how can you live with yourself when hundreds of thousands of people have died after you went to Kiev and stopped a peace agreement in April 2022?”

Johnson claimed that he was “amazed” by the jab, adding that he only later found out that this view was gaining ground, both in Germany and elsewhere.

“It is complete tripe. The Ukrainians were never going to agree to [Russian President Vladimir] Putin’s terms – nothing like them,” the former prime minister stated, explaining this reluctance by citing Russia’s alleged war crimes – which Moscow has consistently denied.

 

https://www.rt.com/news/605617-johnson-uk-peace-russia-ukraine/

 

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YOURDEMOCRACY.NET RECORDS HISTORY AS IT SHOULD BE — NOT AS THE WESTERN MEDIA WRONGLY REPORTS IT.

return of the mad sheep?....

 

Political resurrection: Is Boris Johnson about to make a comeback?
The former UK prime minister has released a memoir, which hints that his career is far from over
By Graham Hryce

 

Boris Johnson’s political memoir ‘Unleashed’ was published late last year and attracted mostly negative reviews and poor sales in the UK.

The review in The Guardian was titled “Memoirs of a Clown,” and another reviewer suggested that the book may have been written by Billy Bunter. 

These reviews are not only unfair – they miss the point of the book and its obvious purpose.

As one would expect from a work penned by Johnson, ‘Unleashed’ is well-written, wittily amusing, utterly self-serving, and replete with historical falsifications.

Even so, it is a very important book – not because of its self-aggrandizing content, but because it constitutes a comprehensive manifesto for Johnson’s return to British politics.

This assertion may seem fanciful to British readers, politicians and political pundits who, with very few exceptions, have assumed that Johnson’s political career ended in disgrace in 2022.

That, however, in my opinion, is a mistaken assumption – based as it is upon a misunderstanding of Johnson’s extraordinary appeal as a politician and a misreading of the fragmented state of cotemporary British politics.

I am not for a moment suggesting that Johnson’s return to politics will be successful.

Johnson’s political ascent and dramatic downfall reveal much about contemporary politics in the West. It is true that Johnson himself does not spell out these lessons in any detail in his 772-page exculpatory tome, but they nevertheless comprise the book’s subtext.

Johnson is a key transitional figure in the collapse of traditional two-party politics in the West. 

Although affecting the pose of a privileged and dishevelled Tory grandee (Eton, Oxford, numerous wives and children, etc.) Johnson is, in fact, an extraordinarily effective modern celebrity populist politician of the first rank.

Johnson is cut from the same contemporary political cloth as Donald Trump and those numerous populist leaders that have attained prominence in a number of European countries in recent years – and continue to do so.

Analogies have been drawn between Johnson and David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill, and they are accurate to a degree.

All three politicians were despised outsiders, lacking a factional base within the Conservative Party – and all three became prime minister at a time of acute political crisis, only to be cast aside by the party when the crisis had passed.

Johnson, however, is a quintessentially modern politician – as Lloyd George and Churchill, who were both born in the 19th century, could not have been.

Contemporary celebrity populist leaders like Johnson emerged in the last decade, when mainstream conservative parties, riven by ideological division, collapsed – and traditional social democratic parties turned their backs, Judas-like, on their working-class supporters and adopted the political programs and ideologies of the new global elites.

Thatcher and Reagan had already discredited the political programs and ideologies of the older social democratic parties – that had become increasingly irrelevant as the new global economic world order emerged in the 1980s.

Who now remembers Michael Foot or his political agenda?

Jeremy Corbyn and Bernie Sanders are the heirs to this failed political tradition, and modern Labour and Democratic parties have in recent years consigned these ageing survivals from last century to political oblivion.

The Thatcher and Reagan revolutions also failed after a time (as Liz Truss so foolishly failed to appreciate) and new political leaders like Blair, Clinton and Starmer subsequently emerged to represent the interests of the new global economic world order.  

And the unpalatable truth is that contemporary working-class voters in the West are no longer interested in the politics of Corbyn or Sanders. Nor are they any longer tolerant of the politics of Clinton and Blair.

Working-class voters now crave celebrity candidates and the promise of populist quick-fixes – as they are increasingly ground down by an oppressive economic and cultural hegemony that reduces their standard of living and turns them into alienated, illiterate, rage-filled victims who seek nothing more than to recover their past prosperity.

These voters now embrace “magical thinking” – a term coined by the historian Peter Gay to describe the widespread political appeal of 19th century European demagogic right-wing political leaders like Louis Napoleon and General Boulanger.   

These voters are not interested in liberal democracy, social democracy, socialism or, God forbid, communism. These doctrines were, of course, rational and once progressive political ideologies that had their intellectual origins in the 18th century Enlightenment.

The working class in the West has now embraced irrational populism wholeheartedly and rejected the politics of rational economic and social reform.

It is one of the most egregious and persistent intellectual failings of the traditional left in the West to have failed for decades to acknowledge this fundamental historical fact.

And it is a failing that now leaves them unable to understand or respond to the contempt that modern social democrats like Starmer and Kamala Harris have for them – let alone the irresistible rise of populist leaders like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson.

As C. Wright Mills and Richard Hofstadter (both former Marxists and first-rate historians) correctly pointed out in seminal works in the 1950s, the 20th century working class in the West, notwithstanding Marx’s Hegelian hopes, had never been a revolutionary left-wing political force.

It is even less so today – and thus the working class in the West eagerly embraces the irrational promises and “magical thinking” of right-wing populist politicians. After all, what other politicians even pretend to represent their interests? 

That brings us back to Boris Johnson.

Readers of ‘Unleashed’ will gain the impression that, throughout his entire political career, Johnson has been firmly committed to his key 2019 election policy of “Levelling Up” – that is improving the economic status and lives of working-class Britons who have been left behind and abandoned by globalization.  

That, of course, is not true – but it is this message that Johnson repeats endlessly throughout his book. That is because it is the central plank of the populist political ideology upon which Johnson, in my opinion, intends to resurrect his political career.

Johnson’s detailed political program for the future is set out in some detail in the chapter of his book titled “Some Pointers for the Future.”

“Levelling Up” is, of course, the equivalent of Trump’s “Make America Great Again” illusory promise. 

Johnson, of course, praises Trump throughout his book – and it is no coincidence that the avid Trump supporter Elon Musk has recently launched a remarkable and devastating attack on Prime Minister Starmer.

In ‘Unleashed’, Johnson takes on the mantle of a fully fledged populist – now free of the ideological constraints imposed upon him by the Conservative Party. In those days, he could only pose as a proto-populist at best.

Johnson understandably highlights his undoubted ability as an election winner. There is no untruth or false modesty in this claim. After all, he twice became mayor of London – defeating the longstanding radical Labour mayor “Red Ted” Livingstone.

Nor can Johnson’s comprehensive win in the 2019 election as Conservative leader – based upon his “Levelling Up” program – be denied. After all, he delivered the Conservatives a whopping 80-seat majority, which no other contemporary Conservative politician could have possibly done.

And it was Johnson who finally delivered Brexit for working-class voters who supported it en masse – in the face of brutal opposition from the global elites in Britain and the institutions that they controlled, together with a large contingent of bitter Remainer politicians within the Conservative Party.

Johnson – who, like Trump, is a former celebrity television star – is an election-winning politician with extraordinary charisma and popular appeal – especially within the alienated and politically discarded UK working class. 

What then of Johnson’s political demise over the “Partygate” affair?

Johnson does not dwell on this unduly in his book, and he makes something of an anodyne apology – hoping that British voters will forgive him for what, in many ways, were rather insignificant transgressions. There is no reason why they should not do so in the future. 

It should be remembered that British voters did not remove Johnson as prime minister – that was done by Conservative Party Remainer MPs, the global elites and the institutions, most notably the vengeful and vindictive media, that they so comprehensively control. 

As for the conflict in Ukraine, Johnson remains a strong supporter of Vladimir Zelensky. Most European populists – including Nigel Farage – have now abandoned Zelensky, but if President Trump puts a swift end to the conflict in Ukraine (as seems very likely), this may not turn out be a problem for Johnson. 

On the Middle East, Johnson continues, in his book, to champion Biden’s and the Netanyahu government’s misguided and brutal policies. This, however, may not necessarily constitute an impediment to future political success for Johnson in the UK.

Whether or not Johnson has a future political career – and he would only deign to come back as prospective prime minister – depends very much upon future political developments in the UK.

As to that, the auguries appear favourable for a Johnson political comeback.

The Starmer government is in a state of complete meltdown – and Johnson’s book is replete with criticisms of the unprincipled and incompetent Labour prime minister. 

There is no doubt that Starmer’s inept government will continue to be unable to solve any of the acute social and economic problems that bedevil the UK and the majority of voters, and that it will become increasingly more unpopular the longer it remains in office.

Elon Musk’s recent attack on Starmer over the “grooming“ scandal makes the prime minister’s position even more untenable. Starmer, of course, finds himself hoisted on his own politically correct petard – having used precisely the same tactic to purge the Labour Party of Jeremy Corbyn and his supporters. 

The Conservative Party remains a divided and ineffective opposition – even under the leadership of Kemi Badenoch – and its long-term electoral future appears exceedingly bleak. 

Johnson’s view of the Conservative Party can be gleaned from an anecdote that appears in his book, in which he recounts a conversation with an unnamed Tory MP on the eve of Johnson being deposed. The MP tells him that the Conservative Party is “a c*ntocracy – because the biggest c*nt holds most power.”

The real opposition party in the UK at present is the Reform Party – led by the populist rabble-rouser Nigel Farage.

Farage, however, is not really a political leader and he only reluctantly and at the last minute stayed in the UK to lead the party at last year’s election. 

Interestingly, Elon Musk has recently launched a bitter attack on Farage – saying he should resign as the Reform Party leader.  

Furthermore, the party has only five seats in the House of Commons – hardly an effective base from which to form government, no matter how unpopular the Starmer government becomes. And (as last year’s election showed) Britain’s first past the post voting system makes it very difficult for Reform to win seats. 

In the circumstances, if Johnson does return to politics (and he is only 61 this year), it will surely only be as the leader of a new populist party – made up of the current Reform Party MPs together with as many defector MPs from the Conservative Party as Johnson can attract.

It is no coincidence that a lengthy list of the Conservative MPs who supported Johnson as prime minister is set out in the final chapter of his book, titled “Thanks.” Many lost office at last year’s election, but some still sit in the House of Commons and would no doubt willingly join a populist party led by Johnson. 

Such a coalition makes perfect sense for both groups – in fact it is probably the only way that they will ever wield real political power.

And Nigel Farage may well welcome the formation of a new party led by Johnson – he would be rewarded with a prominent role – that would have very real prospects of defeating Starmer’s Labour Party at the next election, whenever that may occur.

Whatever may happen, Boris Johnson’s political career is, in my view, very far from over – and we should not forget Johnson’s witty and final defiant comment to the House of Commons after the Conservative Party had deposed him – “Hasta la vista, baby.” 

If Boris Johnson does attempt to make a political comeback, no matter whether he is successful or not, it can only further seriously destabilize British politics – which is presently in a state of absolute and complete disarray.

https://www.rt.com/news/610695-uk-political-resurrection-boris-johnson/

 

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YOURDEMOCRACY.NET RECORDS HISTORY AS IT SHOULD BE — NOT AS THE WESTERN MEDIA WRONGLY REPORTS IT.

 

         Gus Leonisky

         POLITICAL CARTOONIST SINCE 1951.

 

HYPOCRISY ISN’T ONE OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS SINS.

HENCE ITS POPULARITY IN THE ABRAHAMIC TRADITIONS…

 

 

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME RUSSIA IF WW3 STARTS. BLAME AMERICA.