Friday 19th of September 2014

angels with snouts...

angelswithsnouts

ALL IS FORGIVEN TONY...

Dear Tony, I must apologise for having misunderstood you and your mates... Yes, you were right. That lying bitch Julia deserved to be shut down.


You know, like all of us know, that her only lie of course, was saying "the country I lead won't have a carbon tax"... And as you would, and most of us did, you trusted her to such extend you refused to sell your arse to make a deal with the independents. Very commendable and honourable occasion. Please give yourself a knighthood now. You deserve one — a big one at that... 

And we all know that Julia tried to disguise a "carbon tax" behind the veil of a carbon pricing... The tart. Everyone knows that a carbon pricing is not a carbon tax as you would, but a thinly disguised ETS that you and us would not have taken lying down anyway. Really this country could not afford to cut its emissions of CrapO2 without plunging into the deepest economic coal-mining crisis. Let's say here that your brilliant solution — the "direct action" — to a problem that does not exist, is so much more entertaining. It's like farting in a bath-tub, while splashing the wife's Channel Number 5 on the walls. 
So we all got duped by the red-headed woman. 

This is why you had to simplify the whole commentariatisationingofonelinegrabbers to just "kill the carbon tax". a four-word enlightening slogan that explained the red-headed woman's sin... 
And of course, the budgets delivered by Swan stank of socialism: The rich had to pay their fair share, while those bumbling idiots at the bottom of the social scale should never have been given social help to lift their head out of the stinking water of the street gutters. This misdirected effort was sending the country broke, since as you know, most of the rich could barely afford accountants and lawyers, so they would pay less of their fair share, the good lads. They had to reluctantly do this unfortunate side-kick amongst their other fiddles, otherwise the trickle-effect of economic rationalisation would have come to a halt. And we did not want that, did we? The whole economy would have gone down the gurgler. 
Which to say the least it went down there anyway. Turning a 40 billion surplus into a 200 billion + deficit stinks of mismanagement. And as you know, and we all know, the Global Financial Crisis was a big furphy. If you don't know yet Tony, let me explain. Some European countries had made some bad investments on advice from US rating agencies and the poor US banking system went a-crashing like you would not believe... Those nasty Europeans!... Lucky, ten of thousands Americans had their precious money stored in the secured vaults of the Swiss banking industry and all the central banks of the world went on overdrive printing cash at the speed of knots. Say "warp speed" to be more accurate... But not the Aussie Labor government, the twerps, which decided to help the people instead of the banks. The clods. They never understood that banks are the pillars of economies...
But let's not being distracted by this side issue which also tells us that the Swiss banking industry dutifully helped the US investors fill their tax return with extra minimisation. "Anyone who does not minimise their tax should have their head examined" as my illustrious friend, Mr Packer, used to say under oath. We all do it. 
Nuts... I digress. Let's go back to giving you the laurels you deserve, Tony.
Anyway, you had no option but to wage a pure ethically distilled campaign based on truth-telling of reluctant delivery of deceit and three-words slogans headed by "kill the carbon tax" (bugger! that's four words again...) or such. As the campaign was heating up and some people accused you of wanting to destroy a few useless toys in the play-ground, you stood firm and with a truthful hand on your truthful heart you said with an amazing generously true spirit that you would never touch education, health, NDIS, pensions, the ABC and SBS... Everything was secured, except this rotten NBN, which was sending us broke by at least half of the country's accruing deficit. Who wants to communicate at high speed anyway? No-one I hear you say and you are right again. My hat to you for knowing that.
Thus the inventor of the internet was approached to sort things out. Malcolm Turnbull went through the books and saw that the costing was crook. Actually, there was no costing, thus Turnbull, in the wisdom of a great internet inventor, had to reduce the cost. All good. He had to go technical and he precisely recalled the invention of the steam engine and Mr Watt's definition of a horse power which was basically a nifty formula based on the amount of oats to be given to a horse lifting a 150 pound water bucket from a deep well by spinning around a winch for five hours. It's the same with electronics. 
Meanwhile you had to show to this nation of sadists, who was the best and most efficient sadistic person to lead this country in pushing back the unwashed hordes of asylum seekers. Some of us, sadists, think these seekers come here to take our jobs — which some of us have just lost yesterday or are about to tomorrow, (or are working at Channel Ten) but that's beside the point. In fact, the majority of us, sadists, think these seekers are not job seekers at all. They're trying to join the secret ranks of bludgers, living close to Melbourne's Masjids... Wink wink say no more.... 
It's the 22nd of May at 9:22 in Sydney... It's a balmy 22 degrees C. It's 4 degrees C above average for this time of day and year — and the amount above for this entire month alone so far. But please do not let your unwavering conviction be rattled. Scientists say that the month of May 2014 is only the 403rd or so month, non stop in a row, to be above average temperatures. These idiots of the slide rule tell you, these are odds in a billion's billion... But really, you are a gambling man and the month of April was only 0.75 above average, soooooo close to being below. So, take that, you, the scientists of global warming doom. 
Here we go again, as I become more and more insane by the minute — I stopped trying to understand this insane world a long time ago — I must admit here that you have showed us the way to make sure our lives are neat and tidy without the worries of money since we will have less of it, in a place where imagination has nothing to displace.
Hey? What's the point of driving our little cars towards death, while not hoping there is something like a bright light on the other side of the wall? That would be nihilistic. No. It is far better to believe there are people waiting for us on the other side... People in various state of agitation waiting impatiently for us to turn up because we shafted them before, in real life — and they are angry, with sticks in their hands. 
But they are soon all forgiving under the instructions of the big guy in the sky, except those we meet in hell, our rightful place. 
In the beginning, I was going to say: "fuck you Tony" but I soon realise the wrongs of my ways. It's us. We deserve to be fucked. We actually deserve to be raped... or worse, we deserved to be ignored.
A bit like the disabled people who have lost their representative voice in Canberra. You have duly as you should removed the position of "disabled commissioner" in order to save three candle sticks as a priority. Good for you... and to say the least a "commissioner of disability" would have meant having to deal with trouble — like having ramps instead of stairways going to heaven. 
So all the NUMEROUS false promises (more than 25 lies) you made before the elections, like a false prophet, were the only truthful pathway you could access to the lodge and to remove the red-headed woman. In a few short weeks thereafter, you showed us the right way to shift the centre of this country's happiness. Before the election, all of Australia was happy except Sydney's North Shore. Now The North Shore is ecstatic and the rest of Australia is feeling crappy as it should. Well done. Bravo. Bravissimo!
Of course, your Uncle Rupe made sure the redheaded woman would be gone before you properly locked horns with her on the understanding that one does not fight with a woman. It would have appeared somewhat misogynistic. So Uncle rupe worked his arse off to replace her with a reheated male challenger.
See Uncle Rupe kept fermenting dissent in the Labor (the bad commies) camp. He sold his confusionistic wisdom — in his media outlets, via a super-gang of dedicated shit-spruikers — on how the old pompous Labor men were far better than the red-headed atheist.
Thus, as you would expect, Labor shot itself in the foot (not the first time) and even the young guns like Bill Shorten went along for the flip-ride... Really! Yep! The cad. He must have known that Labor was on the ropes anyway and that the red-headed woman was not going to win against a righteous truthful ethical Abbott. Thus he supported Old Floppy, the former silvery leader in the cloud, next to god. So in a heart-felt swoop, Bill got rid of the red-headed woman, knowing that he could be next in line for the job. It's the way to climb encumbered stairs. You push down those in front of you.
Eventually as one would expect in this ancient game of Push n' Shove, Uncle Rupe ratted on the old men and started to show them for what they were: smelly old farts who would retire soon after the elections. Game well played. Bravo!...

We are not worthy of your wisdom and magnanimity, oh great Abbottus Anthoninus... We certainly know that "money does not bring happiness". We also know all the super-rich dudes in the world are super-sad. I am bleeding for them, flagellating myself towards happiness daily, though I have still no idea about this insane world in which we live. I hope you can enlighten us with suppositories.
I humbly salute you. 

Gus Leonisky
You local Bullshit expert.

Note: I know it's only the 21st of May but I felt compelled by the number 22 as in Catch 22...

 

a great pity...

 

Tony Abbott and Christopher Pyne have cancelled a planned visit to Victoria's Deakin University on Wednesday, citing fears about their safety during the national day of student protests against higher education cuts.

The prime minister and the education minister’s visit to the Geelong campus to open a research facility coincided with nationwide demonstrations organised by the National Union of Students.

Students are protesting against the government’s budget plans to cut the public funding of university courses by 20% on average and deregulate fees, allowing universities to charge as much as they wish.

“The advice from the Australian Federal Police was that they were concerned about the safety, particularly of innocent bystanders, because [Wednesday] is the students' national day of action, so-called, where they're protesting against having to contribute more to their own education,” Pyne told the ABC’s Lateline program.

“So the prime minister made a decision, and his office, that it would be wiser to not go and create that tumult at Deakin University, so students can get on with their studies unmolested by the Socialist Alternative, which seem quite intent on shutting down democracy in Australia.”

Pyne said the foreign affairs minister, Julie Bishop, and the former Liberal MP Sophie Mirabella had been targeted by protesters at universities recently. He said people should be free to express their opinions without being "molested or assaulted".

"It's a great shame of course in the modern era that this would be the case but since the Q&A show about two weeks ago it's been clear that the Socialist Alternative students are trying to make a point and shut down other people's opinions in the debate, which is a great pity."

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/21/tony-abbott-and-christopher-pyne-cancel-university-visit-amid-safety-fears

Er... What debate?... I though we were being shafted, full stop. 

 

But wait some pigs are more equal than you, swines...:

 

 

Tony Abbott’s daughter Frances received a “chairman’s scholarship” for a degree costing more than $60,000 from the Whitehouse Institute of Design where an Abbott donor sits as chairman on the board of governors, Guardian Australia can reveal.

The revelation raises questions for the prime minister over whether the scholarship should have been declared on his interests register.

The Coalition government is also under pressure over changes to higher education funding announced in the budget.

Frances Abbott undertook a bachelor of design at the Whitehouse Institute of Design in Sydney from 2011 to 2013. Guardian Australia has confirmed that she received a scholarship during her time at the institute.

“Frances definitely was a student with us and received a chairman’s scholarship,” Leanne Whitehouse, director of the Institute told Guardian Australia. She declined to detail how many times the “chairman’s scholarship” has been awarded previously, but the institute’s website makes no references to the scholarship and states the institute “does not currently offer scholarships to gain a place into the Bachelor of Design”.

Members of parliament are required to disclose gifts above specified threshold limits with additional requirements for ministers where a gift is retained.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/21/tony-abbotts-daughter-did-not-have-to-pay-for-60000-design-degree

 

 

 

the honourable repugnant joe hockey

I won't go into the details of Joe having found that the articles by the SMH about "treasurer for Sale" was repugnant to him... That's for their lawyers to discuss over a beer in a court pub, though my feeling is that should the North Sydney Bizo Club of fund raising for Joe had organised for some people to pay cash to be at the preview of the budget release with discussion, then Joe should address his repugnancy towards his North Sydney mates if they did not tell him what they were doing, basically selling front seats and access to him. Access to the treasurer for sale? For sure. 

 

But where I find Joe, the treasurer for hitting pensioners on the head, far more repugnant than he could even muster to refuse to be called "for sale" which his mate were doing, is that he had the outrageous temerity to challenge Tony Jones about whether his $7 co-payment to visit the doctor was a tax or not... He even argued that it was coming out the tax payers pocket, the idiot. No, Yes, No, Yes, Joe is taking us for fools, as if we did not know a tax when we saw one.

He and his his mates Tony and co were the repugnant experts telling us about the "carbon tax" at every street corners when the blither was set up like an ETS-enforcement to make heavy "polluters" in CO2 emissions cough up, and the heavy users of air conditioning on the North Shore pay up... I did my bit. I could have claimed for the rebate but did not though I was entitled to it. I did my duty to the future.

And Joe has the gall not to call his $7 flat tax a tax because it "does not go to consolidated revenue"... Yes it goes to a con job — a fund for medical research possibly invested in a portfolio in which cigar making companies might figure prominently...

Get a life Joe, you're making ours a yellow belly-laughing misery.

bad politicians are far worse than bad journalists...

 

You always know politicians are desperate when they start talking about CCTV cameras on street corners. It usually happens towards the end of election campaigns, but on Friday Tony Abbott reached for this most micro of populist issues at the end of a week that left his macro budget sales pitch in tatters.

Travelling to Campbelltown in western Sydney to re-announce the “safer streets program” – it was an election promise and already included in the attorney-general’s portfolio statements in the budget – the prime minister said this tiny spend ($6.4m for NSW and $50m nationwide from a budget that cut total spending in net terms by more than $15bn over the next four years) was important because it showed it had been “a budget for building as well as for saving”.

But voters are not buying the message. For good reason.

In a gently self-deprecatory speech announcing a press gallery journalism award this week (boy, he must have really felt like doing that), Abbott noted that journalism was one of only a few professions held in lower esteem that politics, and then joked: “Some might say I am contributing to closing that gap.”

But it is precisely because of the budget’s broken promises, on top of the underlying general scepticism about the truthfulness of all politicians, that his budget sell has been so spectacularly unsuccessful.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/may/23/the-verdict-is-unequivocal-the-budget-is-inequitable

Actually, the whole thing about politicians and journalists is a furphy... One of the major problem has been that in both profession (if one can call politics a profession) is that some spruikers, liars and opinionators infiltrate the space and destroy the dedicated professional ideals... This is why, someone like Alan Jones denies being a "journalist". But people still think of him as an important source of news — albeit coated with his brand of crap.

Opininationing is not journalism, but this slanted version of the news commentariat has usurped the role of journalists in reporting the "reality". In the commercial news reporting, the slant is spread thick like butter on toast. In the public broadcasting news report, the journalists are obliged to mention opposing views even if those views are complete rubbish, especially as demonstrated by scientific evidence.

In politics, clever idiots like Tony Abbott are masters at telling fibs. And they have no remorse for telling lies. Despite their claimed religious beliefs which should limit their propensity to lie, they hover very close to psychopathic hypocrisy. The difference between these imbecilic snake oil merchants who are taking over the political spectrum and the slanted opinionated spruikers who are taking over the journalist profession is that the lying politician constructs ways to control and affect your life in a hard-wired way. The opinionators can be dismissed by either not listen to them and/or telling them to piss off.

Dangerous politicians like Tony Abbott become encrusted in your lounge room without you having any means to protect yourself from them, but to throw them out every three years or so — or until the next time you give them another chance because they told you new porkies you will trust despite your better sense of kicking the bastards in the arse.

Bad politicians are actually below the bad journalists. Bad politicians are turds at the bottom of the barrel. They can affect your life far more than a rotten spruiker of crap. Bad politicians will inflict you with pain... Tony Abbott is a bad politician, a turd, though clever at getting to the surface of the broth.

Good journalist are as good as good politicians. They are both honourable professions. But they are, unlike engineers or doctors, inclined to be infiltrated by far too many artful dodgers and lying turds... Pity.

 

she's going to have to do a lot effing more...

 

FORMER “first bloke” Tim Mathieson has launched an extraordinary attack on Prime Minister Tony Abbott’s wife, Margie, saying she is not doing enough charity work.

...

“I’m disappointed that she is not doing any charity work,” Mr Mathieson told the Sunday Herald Sun.

“What is she doing? Because I did 60 charity events. She has not contributed to any of them.”

But the Prime Minister’s office hit back, releasing details of the gifts and corporate hospitality afforded to Mr Mathieson when his partner, Julia Gillard, was PM - including valuable sporting memorabilia and tickets to major sporting events.

A spokeswoman for Mrs Abbott outlined a host of charity and community, health and education events she had attended in recent months.

http://www.news.com.au/national/former-first-bloke-tim-mathiesons-bizarre-attack-on-margie-abbott-over-charity-work/story-fncynjr2-1226930687030

-------------------------

Gus as Tony Abbott, her husband, is planning to destroy fair education for all and proper health services, the first lady, Margie Abbott, is going to be busy like a fly in a jar, doing extra charity work... Unless this is the real plan by the little turd. Kill off education and health government services so that private charities can take over these gigs...

 

the fan joke...

The American expression is, “Will it play in Peoria?” turning on the notion that what the people of Peoria, Illinois think is a great indication of what Middle America thinks, so you need to frame your politics accordingly. Now, I am not saying that Mangrove Mountain is our Peoria, but I tell you what, it is wonderful heartland Australia, generally conservative, and as I grew up there – and have been up and down every highway and byway as a kid, helping Dad hand out How to Vote Liberal cards – I know it well. Mum was even a prime mover in getting the Mangrove Mountain Community News started in the early 1970s. And here’s my point. The last edition of that august journal carried this well-known joke.

A fellow arrives up at the pearly gates and is going through his screening by St Peter.  He could not help but ask St Peter why he had all those clocks on the wall behind him. St Peter said: “My son they are lie clocks. They register every time you tell a lie. Take this one for example, it never once moved. It is Saint Teresa’s clock. Here’s another interesting one. It is the clock of Abraham Lincoln. It moved twice which means that in his whole life he only told two lies.”

Our man was intrigued and asked: “St Peter, where is Tony Abbott’s clock?”

“Oh, Jesus has it in his office. Uses it as a ceiling fan.”


Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/comment/abbotts-no-laughing-matter-20140523-zrm4i.html#ixzz32ipU8IcT

Still very funny... But the joke has been going around since politics became "democratic", possibly since the time of Cromwell (1599-1658), unless it first appeared in the 1950s... Various politicians were the butt of the fan joke... In regard to Tony Abbott, the fan is spinning so furiously out of control, even Jesus has to send it for repairs in Hell...